I hate moving. I hate the idea of sorting through my things and attempting to figure out what goes and what stays. I hate the piles, and the categorization of a life built inside whatever four walls I'm inhabiting at the moment.
This is where I grew up. Life broke my heart here and somehow it was magically put back together as well. I hate this is where I learned how to be brave, how to fight, and also how to surrender. This is what a home does, right?
I hate strangers pillaging my memories as they make their own. I hate I won't walk pass the wall where we use to laugh about the trick we played on someone. I don't want to try to figure out when I'll see you again. The state moving leaves me is heavy and unforgiving until I can rebuild these feelings. I hate not seeing the stain we put on the ceiling after a mishap in the kitchen. I hate in my new place when I recall how I got the scar on my arm the missing shelf won't be there. I hate knowing when I call you won't come.
I've met disappointment at your hands and have suffered embarrassment by your tongue. Too many emotional ups and downs and not nearly enough time to process these feelings. I'll be better without you. I want to pack away every loss you were responsible for. I reject your truth, I am better than what I've accepted within these four walls. I am deserving of a new beginning.
I hate that you will hate me for moving and having the courage to leave first. I hate I'm afraid I won't remember your smell. I hate I think for a second you could replace me. I hate that I care.
This is where I grew up. Life broke my heart here and somehow it was magically put back together as well. I hate this is where I learned how to be brave, how to fight, and also how to surrender. This is what a home does, right?
I hate strangers pillaging my memories as they make their own. I hate I won't walk pass the wall where we use to laugh about the trick we played on someone. I don't want to try to figure out when I'll see you again. The state moving leaves me is heavy and unforgiving until I can rebuild these feelings. I hate not seeing the stain we put on the ceiling after a mishap in the kitchen. I hate in my new place when I recall how I got the scar on my arm the missing shelf won't be there. I hate knowing when I call you won't come.
I've met disappointment at your hands and have suffered embarrassment by your tongue. Too many emotional ups and downs and not nearly enough time to process these feelings. I'll be better without you. I want to pack away every loss you were responsible for. I reject your truth, I am better than what I've accepted within these four walls. I am deserving of a new beginning.
I hate that you will hate me for moving and having the courage to leave first. I hate I'm afraid I won't remember your smell. I hate I think for a second you could replace me. I hate that I care.
I hate I have to hate moving.
I'm moving.
Hopeful.
I'm moving.
Hopeful.
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